Saturday 10 May 2014

Me versus hatchets

Bury the hatchet

Before I start I need to point out that I'm doing this for research purposes and not because I've done anything bad with a hatchet that needs covering up. No sir.

My first problem was what exactly is a hatchet? Is it another name for an axe or something different altogether? I put 'hatchet' in the search box of a well-known DIY website and got no results. 'Did you mean rachet, thatcher, sachet?" No I didn't.

Turns out that a hatchet is a type of axe - a small, light one designed for use in one hand specifically while camping or travelling.

With that established I put on my disguise and went to a not-too-local hardware store and bought a hatchet with cash.

Burying it was the easy part. We only have a small garden so it was easy to lift a couple of patio slabs, dig down a bit, place the hatchet in the hole, cover it up and put the slabs back.

And here's where the problem with this starts. It seems a pretty silly place to leave a hatchet. You've got to go through all that rigmarole again to get the hatchet back if you need to do some more hatcheting.

If you've left it there a long time then there's a danger that the handle will rot or the blade rust. All in all rather a daft idea unless you're in the criminal fraternity.

Conclusion One: Buying a hatchet just to bury it is a waste of money

Conclusion Two: If you think you might need to use the hatchet again don't bury it. Keep it in a toolbox or somewhere handy like that.

Conclusion Three: If you are of the criminal fraternity then bury your hatchet further away from your house. The garden is the first place the police will look.

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